What do you want out of your Maryland divorce or custody litigation? If you do not understand your case and do not set appropriate goals then you may not be happy with where you end up at the conclusion of the case.
The first step in a child custody case is to evaluate your case. See Evaluate Your Maryland Child Custody Case: A Lawyer’s Perspective. Do you want to seek custody of your child(ren) if the other parent is better suited for custody? Regardless of the answer ask a follow up question – Do you want to be a significant part of your child’s life? Regardless of the answer to question one, question two is probably yes – or else you would not have done an internet search on child custody.
How do you best achieve your generalized goal – being a significant part of your child’s life? Assume that you work from 6:00 a.m. until 3:00 p.m. This is not a good schedule for a custodial parent, but it might be a great schedule for a visiting parent. You are available every day after school to watch the children. Your goal is narrowing and so are your choices.
Can you watch the children every day after school if you live forty five minutes from the school? Probably not because it is, at best, unfair to the children. However, you still want to maintain your goal of being a significant part of child’s life – only it has been modified and defined as daily contact. The solution is simple – you must move.
Contrast the above with someone who has not defined his or her goal and plays the custody card – they want custody! The problem is that they have probably not positioned themselves for daily contract. Did they move? The move would not have been necessary for custody, but imperative for daily contact.
Do not forget Commandment 10, arm your attorney, do not disarm him. This one is simple. Provide information to your attorney. Give him/her sufficient funds to litigate. Convey information to him or her. And do not get a DUI while driving to court.
Finally, examine Commandment 9, Put the Other Side at Risk. If the other side has nothing to lose then they will continue to litigate. If the other side does not have a soft spot maybe you should be looking to settle. Concentrate on your goals, and whether they are realistic. This is not easy, and falls more on you than your attorney. Then again, it is your case. Quiz your lawyer and find out if your lawyer knows your goals, how to get there, has given you guidance, and knows how to litigate your case.
Jerry Solomon*
Jerry Solomon is a Maryland divorce and child custody attorney who works with and represents clients with family law problems, including divorce, child custody and visitation. Jerry has practiced family law for over twenty-five years.
