Evaluate Your Maryland Child Custody Case: A Lawyer’s Perspective
What are your chances for success in litigating for child custody in
Review the Ten Commandments of Child Custody. Understand how these interact, particularly Commandments Six, Seven and Eight. Again review The Hidden Factors in a Maryland Custody Case: A Lawyer’s Prospective. Now you are ready to begin.
Start with historical data. Commandments Six and Seven. Who has been the primary parent throughout the child’s life? Who took the child to the doctor, picked the daycare, transported to and from daycare, stayed home when the child was sick, changed diapers, cooked, cleaned, bathed and gave the youngster guidance? Not easy, is it? Add on special factors for your own child(ren), including areas of education, religion, psychological, physical and other factors. If you provided all of the above exclusively then you are probably the prime candidate for either sole or primary physical child custody. If the child’s other parent provided the above then the child’s other parent is a prime candidate for sole or physical custody. However, if these parenting roles were shared, switched, or unstable, then go to step two.
Were these functions provided with stability? This is Commandment Seven. Were these tasks performed with consistency? As a
For each factor that you listed go back and rate yourself and the other parent. Do this honestly. Remember Commandments One, Two and Three? Now you will begin to understand how a court, attorney and evaluating psychologist may view your case. You will also begin to understand the unique relationship that you had with the other parent and how each of you can fit in to form a parenting team for your child, regardless of whether you are together or separated.
Next, look at proof. How can you prove your case? Is it a he said, she said, or are there collateral sources that can verify your contentions? Can you develop witnesses (there is a tendency, especially in marriage, to hide what is going on, so it is not uncommon to have few or no witnesses)?
Talk with your lawyer about your evaluation. Listen to your attorney’s input on the case. Your attorney should have an opinion on your chances of achieving your goals.
You should present your case to your lawyer even if you feel that the other parent should get custody. I have spoken to many parents who say that the other parent is a good parent, great parents, etc. The followup question I ask is does the other parent have any problems or shortcomings? I sometimes get the following response: “Not really, except for when he/she drinks.” The discussion continues: “Oh, how often does she drink?” “Well, we argued a lot about this but there is nothing that I can do.” “Oh, how often does she drink?” “She drinks every night, but only gets bombed on the weekends, but that does not matter because I am taking care of the children.” This presents interesting challenges as a lawyer, because I am faced with a whole new host of problems, including a client who does not necessarily know that their children may be in trouble.
Your children are the single greatest personal legacy that you have. Make sure that you give them the best start in life, whether that is stepping up to the plate, stepping back from the plate, or just plain compromise.
Jerry Solomon*
Jerry Solomon is a
